BOMB IRAQ

Remember BURMA SHAVE? Those little advertisement rhymes you'd get on signs along the side of the freeway?

Well, personally, I don't, because I live in Britain and we didn't get BURMA SHAVE here. But I know of them. And, while BURMA SHAVE went bust years ago, their unique form of advertisement lives on.

A little while back, some of the nutters who reside of ifMud thought that it would be really neat if BURMA SHAVE-style adverts were to be used in politics. In particular, used to try and persuade people that, despite all common sense, it would be a really good idea to BOMB IRAQ.

All these are used with permission and are owned by the authors. I didn't write any of them.

(Got any more? Mail 'em to me! I won't promise to post them, but I'll certainly consider it.)

No oil means we're
All in the dark
Want power stations?
BOMB IRAQ
Sam Kabo Ashwell

Arms inspectors
Are a bore
What we need's
A damn good war
BOMB IRAQ
Nate Cull

I may look like
A tree-livin' mammal
But I sure as hell
Can blow up camels
BOMB IRAQ
Iain Merrick

Real men don't pay
Welfare taxes
They have close shaves
with Evil Axes
BOMB IRAQ
Nate Cull

Saddam's gonna
Get the chop
Because I need
To please my Pop
BOMB IRAQ
Dylan O'Donnell

Commies are red
Americans are true
You can't make weapons
From Pu or U
BOMB IRAQ
Iain Merrick

Luke kicked the ass
Of old Darth Vader
I'll do the same
With al-fucking-Qaeda
BOMB IRAQ
Iain Merrick

Making nukes:
Bad idea.
Unless you are
North Korea.
BOMB IRAQ
A. O. Muñiz

Election: lucked
Economy: fucked
Questions: ducked
Star Wars: sucked
BOMB IRAQ
Iain Merrick

Bunker bustin's
Fun to do
That's why we need
A pocket nuke
BOMB IRAQ
Nate Cull

I have a dream
That white and black
Will all hold hands
and BOMB IRAQ
Nate Cull

When all other policy
Is drawing flak
Why not draw votes
With an attack
On some towel-head
Who can't fight back?
Y'all know the words:
let's BOMB IRAQ!
Sam Kabo Ashwell

Antibacterial
Mouthwash fight plaque
Want stronger chemicals?
BOMB IRAQ
A. O. Muñiz

Just a lone ape
On a planet of humans
It's great being a Bush
But I wish I were Truman
BOMB IRAQ
Iain Merrick

Arabian nights
Are filled with longing
For that magic
Carpet bombing
BOMB IRAQ
Nate Cull

"Bush just wants me,"
Saddam mutters,
"Pushing up the
Daisycutters."
BOMB IRAQ
A. O. Muñiz

They seek him here ---
They seek him there ---
Where's Osama?
Oh, who cares
just BOMB IRAQ
Nate Cull

Each time you mainline
Afghan smack
You owe Bush thanks
so BOMB IRAQ
Sam Kabo Ashwell

Prevent a Cheney
Heart attack.
The prescription:
BOMB IRAQ
A. O. Muñiz

NBC weapons
Are only all right
If you're a monkey
Or an Israelite
BOMB IRAQ
Sam Kabo Ashwell

Don't worry
It doesn't suck
Israelis love to
Wear gas masks
BOMB IRAQ
Oren Ronen

Choked on pretzel?
Doesn't matter!
There's one thing to
Make it better:
BOMB IRAQ
Gunther

We'll write on our bombs
"From the USA, howdy!"
And drop them all over
(Except on the Saudis)
BOMB IRAQ
Iain Merrick

World War II
Was so much fun
Don't you just want
Another one?
BOMB IRAQ
Nate Cull

Which despot's which?
It's easy to see
One has a moustache
And one lives up a tree
BOMB IRAQ
Sam Kabo Ashwell

Mr. Clinton
Had his dames
But I got real-life
Videogames
BOMB IRAQ
Iain Merrick

"I'm a really
Stupid ass
So I'll do what
Dickie says
BOMB IRAQ!"
Gunther

You better not pout
You better not cry
Or I'm turning you in
To the FBI
MERRY CHRISTMAS
and BOMB IRAQ
Nate Cull

If harmony
Is what you crave
Then buy
A FUCKING BACKBONE YOU GODLESS FLAG-BURNING PINKO
BOMB IRAQ
Sam Kabo Ashwell

KILL KILL KILL
BLAM BLAM BLAM
OIL OIL OIL
OOK OOK OOK
BOMB IRAQ
Gunther

You want a way
To safely ignore
Both al-Qaeda
And al-Gore?
BOMB IRAQ
Sam Kabo Ashwell

"Mah friends, ah have
A real smart plan:
Let's debomberificate
Iraqistan."
BOMB IRAQ
Sam Kabo Ashwell

Our military intelligence
Is quite elite
We know they've got nukes
'Cos we checked the receipt
BOMB IRAQ
Sam Kabo Ashwell

To show we love peace
We'll negotiate:
We want everything you've got
Plus your head on a plate
BOMB IRAQ
Sam Kabo Ashwell