This is so nice.

I’m lying on the sand, real this time, my feet in the water, the ripples gently massaging them. The fake sun is warm on my face. Bird-things are calling and there’s the occasional splash out in the bay as Green and Black play.

The events of yesterday feel like a ghastly nightmare; horrible, but over, and it’s now slowly fading from my memory. The tunnels of the Big Ship are merging into a jumble of neon lights and twisting corridors. Only my… conversation, with the… whatever it was remains vivid.

I still feel like I’m made of broken glass. I have trouble focusing and there’s an occasional ringing in my ears. I don’t know what that thing did to me, but it’s obviously having lasting effects; but they seem to be passing.

I woke up late this morning and, feeling much better, found Green and Black waiting for me in the foyer, and probably confused them by hugging them both in sheer relief. (No arms. No hugs. How can you live without hugs?) I realised they’d been waiting all night, and attempted to apologise. We never did work out words for sorry, but I think Green eventually got the message—she kept repeating, “You have tired.”

To my surprise, they led me outside onto the beach. The temperature was back to normal, possibly a little warm, and the new sun had gone. It seemed that about an hour after my last transmission, the Big Ship’s rotation had eclipsed the star’s light behind its own huge bulk, leaving the island in shadow. The temperature had slowly started returning to normal.

I actually, for a brief moment, felt grateful to that thing.

There was more news: some time during the night, Black had wandered out of doors, looked at the sky, and had seen that the Big Ship was back in warp, leaving the new sun’s star system.

That was the fourth solar system I’d ever been in. And I have to say that I would have been glad never to have gone there.

So, everything appears to be as back to normal as our new life gets. Life on the island returns to its blessed domesticity. My challenges and boundaries return to the tight little circles they were once contained within, and I am grateful of the fact.

The space suit remains in the corner of my room. I suspect the apartment recharged and cleaned it during the night. I didn’t look. I feel no urge whatsoever to leave this bubble of air ever again, at least until the ship lands.

The rest of the morning was spent trying to explain to the sealin what I had done. This was a lot harder than I expected. I attempted to summarise most of it by just saying, “…and most of the next twenty-four hours I spent wandering around the ship in a delirious haze,” but apart from not knowing the word delirious they didn’t accept that as a valid explanation. I had to try and dredge up memories of some of the various rooms and tunnels and describe them to my increasingly baffled audience.

They were also curious about the thing. Green asked a lot of questions. I didn’t want to think about it too hard, but felt I had to answer; I think I said something important, as she seemed to get quite worried and spent a lot of time talking with Black. But she couldn’t or wouldn’t say why. After a little time the headache starting coming back, so I firmly started thinking about something else and it slowly faded.

They’ve gone off now, saying that I was still tired and needed to sleep. I think they’re right.

[break]

They brought me lunch!

I woke up, some indeterminate time in the afternoon—I still haven’t reset my watch—and found a fish lying on a nearby rock. No sign of the sealin.

It was a big fish, too, with noticeable teeth marks in it. One of them must have gone back to their apartment, made it with the food widget, and carried it back here. It might even be real; there must be fish in the waters around the island.

What do I do with it? I get the feeling this could be some ritual gesture… I could horribly offend them if I refused it. But I’m touched.

I’ll take it back to the apartment. If necessary I can always dematerialise it and pretend I ate it.

[break]

The fish is sorted. The food widget turned it into sushi. Very nice, but there was a lot of it.

Amazingly, I’m still sleepy. I also have a slight headache coming on. I think I’ll grab a drink of something with aspirin in it, head down to the beach and have another snooze.

[break]

Headache’s worse. And my hands are shaking.

They’ve been trembling on and off all morning, but now they’re shaking so much that I have to concentrate to be able to lift a glass without spilling it… and my legs are starting to twitch.

I have a horrible feeling that the fish was genuinely local, and I shouldn’t have eaten it.

I’m going back to the apartment. Perhaps it’ll give me something that’ll help.

[break]

Worse. Awful.

The headaches comes and goes in waves. The shaking’s bad enough that I can’t stand any more.

I’ve opened the window, shouted down to Green. I can see them swimming across the bay. I’m terrified that if I pass out here, I’ll be trapped in the apartment—the doors only open on the inside…

Come on. Hurry up.

[break]

The pain’s a bit less now.

I’ve spent most of the afternoon lying curled up in a ball on the bed, shaking badly and with my head about to split open. It’s not the same horrible pressure that I felt while in the tunnels, it’s just a plain-and-simple headache, but it’s making my life miserable.

That damned fish! Green says she got it from her food widget, so it’ll be tailored for sealin physiology. I bet it contained some kind of exotic nerve toxin, that would explain the symptoms… I really, really hope it starts wearing off soon. I’ve heard about some of these things, they kill you by slowly paralysing your lungs…

Green did not hear me say that, by the way. She’s out. Black’s keeping watch over me.

Damn it, Calvin, this is all your fault. If you had put a decent lock on your shed door, or even just said don’t go in the shed, it’s got a spaceship in it I wouldn’t be here now. I wouldn’t be lying here in agony, terrified that I was going to die, after being kidnapped, marooned, nearly killed by freak weather, kidnapped again, had some thing scrape through my mind, and then been stranded in deep space. I’d be at home. It’s been—what, nearly a month?—you’d have been back a week ago, I’d have gone home to my job in Southampton, writing my column, going to pubs, parties, going out with friends.

Ow. Ow. Ow.

Hell, I probably don’t even have that job any more. I’m a week overdue already. I can picture the conversation:

Oh, you’re back? A little late, aren’t you?

Sorry, I got held up, I’d say. I meant to go to Wales but I ended up taking a impromptu tour of the galaxy in a starship the size of Sussex. And you know what the timetable is like on these things.

Yeah, right.

I wonder if anyone there misses me? Probably not. Oh, I expect some of the guys at work will ask around, and some of the people in the RPG group will be emailing me and wondering why they’re not getting any replies, but it’ll be… oh… another couple of weeks before anyone gets round to filing a missing persons report.

Oh, yeah. Guess who the last person who saw me alive is? Hope you’re good at explaining, Calvin. Serves you right.

I’m sorry, I can’t talk any more.

[break]

Green had some kind of argument with the pedestal downstairs. The apartment produced some pills which she made me take. Everything’s gone fuzzy. The pain’s not as bad, but I’m floating, and there’s a thing made of light under the water and it’s reaching up to get me…

No. No. Concentrate.

I’m still shaking. I couldn’t pick up the glass, or even the pills. Green eventually had to pick them up with her tongue and give them to me mouth-to-mouth. If ever there was a memory guaranteed to ground me to reality, that’s one—she’s hairy and tastes of fish. She didn’t attempt to give me any water, and I am truly thankful that that wasn’t necessary.

She’s doing her best, and I’m grateful, but sealin were not designed to be nurses.

I’m drinking a lot. This is because the only way I can get something to drink is to crawl over to the bathing pool, which I can just about manage, drop into it, and then with one of the sealin supporting me so I don’t drown, I take mouthfuls and try to swallow them… not a reassuring experience.

Unfortunately this means I’m not drinking any of the apartment’s drinks. Which means I’m not getting any drugs it decides to prescribe me. Unless Green can find some way of persuading it to give them to me in bowls…

I think I’m going to try and sleep now I’ve got the chance.

[break]

Nighttime. It’s dark.

Having trouble sleeping. Doze off occasionally into troubled, confusing dreams and then get woken up by the pain in my head again.

It’s not getting worse any more. But it’s not getting better. Hope something happens soon. I don’t want to stay like this. But I don’t want to die, either.

Is it getting hard to breathe? Could be my imagination. Could just be tired. Arms, legs, head shaking constantly. Not so bad when I lie still. Starts up again whenever I try to move. Can’t control myself, can barely crawl. Soiled myself. Magic laundry took care of it, though. Love this room.

Managed to eat something. The food widget produced a big bowl of ice cream. Had to eat it without using my hands. Got it all over my face, but it tasted good. Green dematerialised the mess. Love this room. Pity I can’t talk to it, though.

Pain’s hard to bear. Not localised, it’s just generally coming from the inside of my head. Keep trying to rub my head against something to get at the bits that hurt. Doesn’t work. Keep trying anyway. Want more pain killers, but the apartment won’t give me any for hours yet.

It’s almost completely black in here. The only light is coming from the warp bubble striations, which I can see flickering outside. Vertical streaks, pulsing and drifting. Behind, the stars are sliding by. It looks like something out of Star Trek. It’s soothing, watching the stars rain down… half expect to hear splashes. I know the Big Ship’s still working, still taking us somewhere… perhaps there’ll be help of some kind when we get there. Who knows.

Someone’s awake—big black shape lying next to me just looked round. I can see the light shining on its eyes. Think it’s Black.

I’m sorry to have put you through all this.

I feel responsible. If I hadn’t been here, you’d never have been caught on the ship. Green was right about that.

You’ve been kind, and generous, and you’ve cared about me.

If I die, I want you to know something.

Thank-you.

[transmit]

Previous page Next page